Fighting with Inner Demons

So about a month ago almost now, I had a really dark couple of weeks. It wasn't something that was really new to me- this darkness- but this time I decided to channel the pain into something visually creative. I didn't get things together for shooting until last week, but this is what came out of it.

Some days I wake up with this deep feeling of dread, Hopelessness, And sorrow, Than engulfs my entire being. Like being sucker punched in the gut while having my heart wrenched out of my chest, I am immobilized, Left bleeding depleted.

These mornings come on with seemingly no warning. Sometimes there isn't even a reason, or a trigger. There is just a voice, Or sometimes a dream. And it engulfs my being so deeply as so completely that getting out of bed- Getting up and stepping into a world that seems to only defeat me, To show me that I As I am Will never Ever Be good enough- Is all I can do, Trying my best to hide my wounds so that I won't have to explain to anyone The things in which I cannot Explain Myself.

And so I hide, In as close to silence as I can muster. Attempting to understand, To navigate my confusion, My sorrow, my betrayal, Of Who Knows What.

Praying that tonight will yield a release instead of intensifying the emotions of the day.

But sometimes for weeks, Or months, There is no escape.

Nikin d800 | 24-70mm 2.8

#depression #mentalhealth #creativeportraits #personalproject #poetry #photographicessay